| MISSPELLED GRAFFITTI----NOT KNOWING HOW THE TOASTER KNOWS WHEN THE BREAD
IS DONE----X-RATED MOVIES WITH PLOTS----WHEN THE RADIO CALLS YOUR FAVORITE
SONGS "THE MOLDY OLDIES"----BECOMING ADDICTED TO NICOTINE PATCHES----UGLY
PLASTIC SURGEONS----WHEN VERY OLD PEOPLE WIN THE LOTTERY----VEGETARIANS WHO
WEAR LEATHER SHOES----WHEN YOU LEAVE BEHIND YOUR ATM RECEIPT, AND THE NEXT
PERSON LAUGHS----SPRAYING YOUR ARMPITS WITH HAIRSPRAY----GETTING BITTEN BY
A PETTING ZOO ANIMAL----EGGSHELL IN THE OMELET----WALKING UPHILL IN
BIRKENSTOCKS----TRYING TO FIND THE START OF A ROLL OF CLEAR TAPE--
--WHEN THE COASTER LEAVES A RING----"WATER SAVING" TOILETS YOU MUST FLUSH
TWICE----TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE WORDS TO "LOUIE LOUIE"----VALET PARKERS
WHO PEEL-OUT IN YOUR CAR----WHEN A FORTUNE TELLERS SHOP BURNS DOWN---WHEN
YOUR CAR RUNS THE SAME ON REGULAR OR PREMIUM GAS----WHEN THE DOG BARKS AT
A DOORBELL, AND IT'S ON THE TV----WHEN THE WINNER OF THE ELECTION IS
ANNOUNCED BEFORE YOU VOTE----WHEN YOU RENT A MOVIE AND FIND
OUT IT'S ON TV THAT NIGHT----RUNNING OVER A SKUNK----WHEN YOUR TOOTH BRUSH
TURNS PINK----WHEN YOUR AIR FERN SUFFOCATES----COLLECT CALLS--A DENTIST WITH
A GAP TOOTH SMILE----PEOPLE WHO SAY "HOWDY"----PEOPLE WHO SAY "DOODY"----PEOPLE WHO
DON'T TAKE DOWN THEIR GARAGE SALE SIGNS----RESEMBLING A CRIMINAL FEATURED ON
"AMERICAS MOST WANTED"----BEING UNABLE TO GET PAST THE FIRST LEVEL OF A
VIDEO GAME----PAYCHECK WITHOLDINGS----CHILD-PROOF BOTTLES----RAIN CHECKS--GETTING
THE FINGER FROM A CHILD----SHIRT LABELS THAT RUB AND IRRITATE THE NAPE OF YOUR
NECK----UNINSURED MOTORISTS----LIPSTICK ON A COFFEE CUP----THE LOOK YOU GET WHEN
BUYING A BOX OF "ODOR EATERS"----WHEN YOUR KID PLAYS WITH THE BOX INSTEAD OF
THE TOY----THAT JOHNNY CARSON ISN'T ON ANYMORE----THE FACT THAT PHILADELPHIA BRAND
CREAM CHEESE IS MADE IN CHICAGO----UNDERCOOKED SPAGHETTI----"LADY OF SPAIN" ON THE
ACCORDIAN----ACCORDIAN PLAYERS----BLUE HAIR, EXCEPT ON CLOWNS----GUYS OVER THE AGE
OF 10 WHO WEAR THEIR BASEBALL CAPS BACKWARDS----COUNTRY MUSIC STARS WHO WEAR
TENNIS SHOES----LIFETIME LIMITED WARRANTIES----BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED----GOING TO THE
HARDWARE STORE TO BUY ONE BOLT AND HAVING TO BUY A PACKAGE OF 4----WARM BEER--
FURNITURE YOU HAVE TO PUT TOGETHER----BARBEQUED GOULASH--
FINDING OUT THE SPARE TIRE IS FLAT TOO----RAINY WEEKENDS----FAT DIETICIANS----WEATHER FORECASTERS
THAT NEVER LOOK OUT THE WINDOW----THAT
WOMEN CAN'T REMEMBER TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT BACK UP
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THINGS THAT P ME OFF
